Everything Sucks: ...and nobody's talking about it!

The comic starts out with a brochure that describes the Sparklecare hospital as an amazing place in a very strangely fake and over-eager tone. It shows Barry reading the brochure in a doctor's office. A strange man named Charles sees him reading it and starts shouting to him about how horrible the hospital is, detailing its tortures and cruel intentions. Barry is sort of uncomfortable and tells the man he wishes the best for him- that things get better, only for the man to say "It never gets better, kid- NEVER!”

It proceeds to a doctor's appointment. The doctor, Dr. Prickles, glosses over Barry's very prominent and strange symptoms (high heartbeat, high fever, strange particles in his blood) and demands he pay 500$ on the spot. Barry reluctantly pays up before heading out. He sits on a bench outside the medical center when he sees an ambulance for the hospital drive by, and decides to dial the number. The ambulance comes back and proceeds to grab him into the van before speeding away.

It cuts to show a scene of a doctor talking to a patient about the hospital caring deeply about the patients. It is revealed that this is a fake scene, and that it's actually a puppet show put on by Caroline and Uni. Their show is interrupted by Dr Cuddles walking in and informing them that there is going to be a new patient, and that he expects them to leave him alone until he's situated. As he leaves we see Hemera start nagging Caroline about getting the new patient into unnecessary trouble.

It cuts back to show Barry being taken in by Nurse Mood, who brings him inside and fills out his information. After this is filled out Mood apologizes to Barry, and the doctors spring on him and start to chant a musical rhyme. They talk about torturing him as they change him into his gown and tie him up, and start goring him. They finish off this rhyme with the phrase "It never gets better."

Caroline and Uni come check on Barry, only to find him very upset. Uni manages to calm him down with his bro language, and tells Carrie that they need to get him out of there. They start an escape through the vents, only for Doom to catch them and return them to their rooms. After locking up Caroline she breaks out and gets nagged by Hemera again, and Jay overhears their talk of escaping and runs to grab their scooter. Caroline criticizes Hemera for acting like Jay isn't able to handle this on accounts of their disability.

Doom takes Uni and Barry to their room, and Barry comments on Uni's messiness. He uses his magic to start cleaning, which distresses Barry. He finds out that he is a unicorn, and adamantly insists that this is a lie, that unicorns don’t exist. Barry and Uni bicker for a bit over this, only for Barry to come and ask Uni’s name. Uni offers his hand to Barry but he denies, saying he doesn’t like touching people’s hands, and he’s understanding. This comes up again later. It cuts to a scene of Mood in the greenhouse where plants are kept. Doom barges in and catches her eating a worm, and asks why she can't "be like that to people who actually matter." A butterfly lands on her nose, and he asks why its not running from her after she just killed one of its kind in front of it, and she says "they didn't see nothin."

Doom takes Mood to Cuddles office for a work check in. Cuddles asks about the "manufacturing level" and asks if other medical centers are still receiving tampered medical equipment (which is what caused Barry's high symptoms in the beginning.) Doom informs Cuddles of the escape attempt, and he yells that they can't handle losing any more patients. The outside world finding out the truth would crush their business. He tells them to go monitor the patients immediately. Meanwhile, Caroline has busted them out of their room and they take a ride on Jay’s scooter. They get chased by the doctors, but are ultimately stopped when Jay’s scooter runs out of battery. Barry and Uni are back in their room, and Barry is depressed, saying this was all pointless. Uni tells him that this was the most progress that he and Carrie had made in years… in one day, with Barry’s help. Barry pulls his blanket over and causes the sheet to come undone, and this makes Barry get the idea of escaping through the window on a blanket ladder. They do this, but Cuddles catches them, and he cuts the ladder while Barry’s on it, causing him to fall. Uni catches him with his magic, telling him that he’d remembered the thing about hands. They get away but are chased by the doctors in an ambulance.

The gang is in town now, and they stop a police officer and tell him their story, and he calls them crazy. They try stopping several other people, but nobody’s listening. Hemera sees a poster advertising a music festival happening that day, and they head over there. They infiltrate the crowd and get everyone’s attention on the stage, taking the mic away from Dodge, the announcer. They start talking about the horrors of the hospital, and Barry quotes things that Charles told him in the beginning.

The crowd does not believe them. They ask for proof, and when they have none, they get mocked and called crazy again. Barry sees the man from the beginning again in the crowd, and he shouts up at him "You still think I was lying? It doesn't get better. NEVER." The doctors arrive in the ambulance and grab the patients and pull them off the stage and tells the audience that they’re just taking them back to where they belong, and the audience believes they’re now in good hands.